Based on a journal entry written on September 10th, 2020.
I wrote the original during the first year of COVID, so I understand my mindset at the time being affected.
Small
Is the world as small as I think it is?
It seems small for individuals and what they can accomplish in life. Most people don’t seem to have a vision that drives them forward. It seems like people just pick the easiest path they can see. Even with a vision, there is a lot just to keeping one’s head above water.
There’s a lot of cognitive dissonance. I can hop on the internet and see how big the world is. There’s so many people to meet, ideas to explore, places to go, and things to do. I was browsing Indie Hackers earlier and it made me think about how many interesting prodcuts there are to work on.
Work
Creating a startup or any significant project is hard.
Finding the initial concept, implementing the product, and dealing with legal, accounting, marketing, and sales. I spent 6 months of 2017 creating Reiterable. I only worked on the concept and implemented the bare bones product. If I wanted to make it a salable product, I would have to rewrite it. Then I would have to do all the other stuff, which would be much harder. Then it would probably fail anyways because no one needs another Jira clone and the concepts that I wanted to add on top of that aren’t compelling.
It’s much easier to get a job working for someone else. I’ve saved up $350,000 in 10 years of working like that. It’s an easy life. I have a useful set of skills to employers, so I’m paid well and it’s not demanding. It’s interesting some of the time.
Working a normal job ties people down. Your location is usually determined by your employer. Day-to-day work choices are limited. Your role is limited within the company, so you don’t learn about other roles.
- Make no money while risking everything.
- Make money while risking nothing.
The choices seem cut-and-dry.
Choices
Perhaps I’m just blubbering. I have choices. I could build my own products in my spare time. I could read a book about something interesting. It’s hard and there’s never going to be enough time, but I can make my world bigger.
It’s my own fault what I choose to spend time on. Hours per day watching YouTube or Twitch. Listening to Podcasts. Reading fiction. Writing journal rants.
My personal choices seem to mirror the work choice. I pick the easy path, like everyone else. The easy path makes the world smaller, it’s familiar and not challenging. The hard path makes the world bigger, it’s full of challenges to make you learn and grow.
The End
Maybe I feel this way because I’ve been alone in my apartment for 5 months. It’s certainly been a confined time.
Eventually, I’ll quit and pursue my own projects. I probably won’t do this until I’m comfortable with my financial future.
Until then, I wish I had a solution to how I spend my personal time. Hopefully, just writing consistently will give me an idea. I started writing a few months ago and it feels like a positive habit.
Perhaps I could make a habit of working on my projects every day. I worry that I have too many habits now, though. 8PM project work, 9PM write, 10PM read…